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« Why won't he apologize for hitting his brother? | Main | The Transition to First Grade »

April 12, 2005

Comments

Wiley


Well, my personal story might not be particularly encouraging, but I
will say from the start that my mom tried the "it's not like you're
going to marry him" argument on me any number of times during the
course of it to no avail. It's not really an argument that works on
teenagers, still less on Aspies.

Basically, I fell in love with the first other Aspie I ever met.
Niether of us had heard of Asperger's at the time, I just knew that it
was the first time I had ever met a person who made sense. Eventually
I got up the courage to ask him out. (A funny side anecdote: I had
never asked anyone out before, and decided to ask my roommate for
advice. But I was nervous about even asking her, and kept revising my
question in my head. By the time I managed to say it out loud, it was
"If one wanted to ask Lui out, how would one go about it?" It took her
five minutes to stop laughing enough to answer.) We dated for the rest
of that school year, about 6 months, and then he went off to college.
I followed the next year, but by then we had drifted apart. We broke
up six months after I got to UofC, and since then we've gone back to
being good friends.

On the one hand, those six months watching the relationship fall apart
were some of the hardest of my life. On the other, those first six
months are the only time I can remember where, if I had the chance to
go back and experience them again, I would. Sure, I could have
imagined myself marrying him. Heck, it's been more than a year since
we broke up and part of me still can.

Love happens. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but as numerous
works of literature will attest, parents trying to stop it almost
never works. There's a cliche I can't help being reminded of, "Better
to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Wiley

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