How can I teach my son not to go up to strangers?

Q:I have a 7 year old son with HFA. Up until a year or two ago, he was not very social. Now he is very social, sometimes to the point of going up to strangers and holding their hand or hugging them. How do I help him understand a person's personal space without regressing him socially?

Thank you,
Wendy

A:The idea that people come in different catagories, and that what is appropriate for some people is not appropriate for others can be a very confusing one. The trick is to make the different catagories as clear as possible. For example:

"If you don't know someone's name, don't touch them."
"If someone is in the process of telling you their name, or you know their name but you don't see them very often, it is ok to shake hands with them, but the only touch should be hand to hand."
etc.

The trick is to make it as comprehensive as possible while remaining as simple as possible. And it is the sort of thing you'll need to spend some time explaining and teaching. Keep in mind that our society's rules about personal space are really quite complicated, and when you can't pick them up instinctively, they can be very confusing. If you suddenly found yourself in Japan, you would need somebody to explain the rules governing bowing. It would take you some time to figure it out, and you'd still probably make a lot of mistakes.

Wiley